10 signs you’re a writer (#8 involves duct taping a Bratz doll)

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Duct taped Bratz Doll and Books

Writers are a different breed of people who come in all shapes and sizes. The general stereotype portrayed however is either a middle-aged, white male recluse or a twenty something with hipster glasses, lugging their laptop to an independent café – probably in Brooklyn. Both have tendencies toward substance abuse and/or cat hoarding. But what if you don’t fit into either category? Here’s 10 other signs (ah, stereotypes) that suggest you may be a writer.

SEE ALSO: Writing Journey Co’s first YouTube video

#1 You’re the biggest procrastinator you know

When you sit down and place your fingers on the keyboard, that’s when you decide you’re hungry. And geeze the pantry is a mess so you’d better clean that up, before calling your mum and taking the dog for a walk. Finally you get a break in your busy schedule and head back to the computer to check social media, search for Grumpy Cat memes and watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones What? It’s 1am already? Where did the time go?

#2 You’ve just typed ‘the end’ on the last page of a novel you’ve been working on

Excitement soon turns to horror when you become certain it’s the worst thing that’s been written in the universe. Ever.

#3 Rejection meets you at every turn.

From being the last kid picked for the school football team to getting stood up by the first person you asked out, failure is like an old and unwelcome frenemy. But take heart, the new buzzword is flearn and your experiences have toughened you up enough for the publishing world of rejection that awaits.

#4 Most of your friends are imaginary

And you spend more time with them than anyone else. Even your cats.

#5 You wear fingerless gloves

Partly because they keep your hands warm and still allow you to type. Mostly because you like to imagine you’re a struggling author from another time, working in the dim glow of a kerosene lamp in an unheated, European apartment.

#6 You dread killing your darlings

The memory of editing that one paragraph all day and all night until it was perfect and then having had to delete it the next morning haunts your dreams.

#7 Markus Zusak’s dog lunged at yours at the park 

And this is the best thing that’s happened to you all year. Of course you were so star struck you can’t remember what you said to him, but you’re sure it didn’t make sense and so stress about the whole encounter for the next month.

#8 As an exercise to silence your inner critic you’ve duct taped a Bratz doll

Everyone who’s seen it thinks you have a weird, bondage fetish and probably doesn’t speak to you anymore. Or they’ve asked you to join their 50 Shades of Grey fan club.

#9 You know what NaNoWriMo stands for

And you’ve completed the challenge once or maybe multiple times. Again you think whatever you’ve produced is the worst thing that’s ever been written.

#10 You’re passionate

A lot of the time you’ll spend hours working on something and not get paid a dollar for it. But you won’t give up – mostly because you’re addicted and couldn’t not write even if you tried.

I’d love this post to look less like the worst thing ever written so help me out by adding to the list in the comments section.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I think I tick almost every box Krystina (apart from having Markus’ dog lunge at me but I’ll work on that!) so I must be a writer. Time I started acting like one and actually finished this book then I guess. Congrats on the new blog. It’s looking great!

  2. Great blog Krystina. Congratulations. You are an inspiration to us all. I should stop dragging my feet and do something with the manuscript I keep locked in my draw

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